It was this very day,
Five summers ago'
The accursed boon was granted,
And many a heart was broken!
Fourteen years they must live
Away from home; Fourteen years he must,
Away from me!
Oh, this is the blessed kingdom
Of the Sun, but its Sun has been shunned away
To the forests, and away, away went my Moon
With the Sun,
Whence he came.
Yes, away went Ram,
Renouncing a Sceptre, a Kingdom, a Title-
Not his Love!
But went my Lakshman,
Renouncing me,
To serve his lotus feet!
His parting words were these:
[They were a knell to my feminine ear,
But pride to the better self I possess-
The part that is Lakshman himself.]
'I go with Ram,
For he's par with my Sire- nay,
Greater, much, much greater.
He is my king,
My soul,
My god,
The object whence I came!!'
He stood in a hermit's habit,
But with the wrath of the prince he was,
That wrath unique to him, yet which was love itself-
The wrath at the injustice to Ram.
His livid eyes then sheathed,
Its anger extinguished by my tears!
Then I knew'.
The heart that enshrined Ram,
Held an altar for me too'.
Oh, and he left, he left with Ram,
His Sire,
His Soul,
His God,
The object whence he came''
*
Without a word, she let me go,
To discharge my blood's duty.
Oh, she forewent her love,
To let mine be proven,
Yet she proved her's- her love for me.
Oh her duties to me can wait
But, not mine to Ram:
At birth, he had his mothers,
And at every breath of his span,
He would, his Sita;
At home, to share him away
Were Bharath and Chatrugn,
And the denizens and citizens of Saketh!
With King Dasharatha to adore,
With Mandira to despise...
Oh, a whole life-time would have thus passed...
But, now it's Lakshman's turn,
With Lakshman alone
To shoulder his burden,
To bend to his kingly command,
To support, to guard, to serve...
This, the purpose, the object of my life,
And this Urmila would not know...
The sun has set,
Another aeon gone by!
She'd have wept her eyes to sleep-
Let her sleep,
Sleep, her only oblivion,
Sleep, I have renounced
To embellish my wakeful hours,
With sweeter memories...
*
There were times I envied Ram,
To be loved so dear by mine own Lakshman-
That's gone now'
No, but its Lakshman I envy,
His heart I envy,
To love for love's sake,
To relinquish his own everything for those he loves-
And tho' it's not an object worth measuring,
His gathers a momentous greatness,
A greatness surpassing
Nature and the worlds-
Why, his own Ram'..
*
Five summers am I older
To the day I last saw her,
But I feel no pain, no separation.
For she lives here in spirit,
An inherence in me'
Oh, and there's Ram- bless him-
The world begins and ends in him!
In his words, I hear her kindness,
My mother's in Sita's'.
Urmila, Love, Time's plough
Has dug an abyss,
Now filled with memories,
Our memories and your tears-
I'll be there soon,
To wipe them away.
But just now
Its light- fingered contempt
To stem the flow- for they are icons
Of love- pouring forth from
Your beautiful eyes!
True, Sita's felicity is for Ram,
But your tears are for me'
*
This castle echoes
My plaintive mood:
They are bereft of a king!
Oh, and my Queens!
Their state makes mine a trifle-
A paltry span of loss!!
They've lost their King forever,
And the wild has borrowed
Their heirs, away for fourteen summers!!
Bharath has renounced
His stately attire;
He reigns, in the name of Ram,
A pestilence-stricken people!
And Chatrugn,
The scion, has forgotten to smile;
And my sisters'.
Our own Ayodhya'.
Oh, there were happier times'.
Oh, Lakshman, brother Ram!
Charge your arrows
To speed the spheres-
Time, indeed, is lame-footed.
I can bear this no more'..
*
Yet, you must, Love,
You must bear it all- and
You will!
My shoulders are bruised,
This bow-string unkindly cuts into them;
Oh, this is no Ayodhya;
This way side rill that impeded my path
Is not my Sarayu;
Mother Nature is no Mother Sumitra!
And not one object here can ever replace
You to me, my Urmila!
These forest floors are not
Your soft lap to rest my head;
These winds bring me none
Of your warmth.
Yet for Ram,
I would weather the Underworld!
For me, Love, weather
Time's slow-footed lameness!
Honour me, Urmila,
With your patience!
Could not I have
Borne you across this perilous wild?
Do not mine arms
Possess that strength?
But I grant that your heart,
Your meekest, tenderest heart,
Were stronger than mine arms-even me!
[For I remember,
And will always do,
It won me, my pride and all]
I know it can bear
Undauntedly, a bereavement of a lifetime,
And fourteen summers?
Tell me, Love, am I not worth the wait??
"The hour of return is nigh…
It'd soon be dawn,
And all would dawn
For this empire, this people, and me!
This new sun I await.
He would bring me my moon…..
Fourteen summers has it been!
Fourteen summers- oh no, a lifetime has ended
In weary waiting and hapless tears!
But its end is here, so also a new beginning……..
Have I grown? Have I diminished?
I do not know. He will have to tell me,
For I merely groped, groped within time-
Within the dark, unkind labyrinthine walls of time….
But, now the dearest hour of return is nigh!
The thousand eyes of the night stare
In quiet pursuit
Of his, of their advancing toward the forlorn Saketh.
Yes, the Sun would see the journeys end-
My agony's end!
Yet, where is the Sun-
The lone eye of the day?
Sleep no more Sun!
Yoke thine steeds of the steep heaven
And tread the yon east! "
So spake Urmila,
Unto the night.
She stood, alone and concealed,
In the highest tower of the heaven-like castle.
Her beautiful eyes,
Those that he so adored,
Darted between the east and the west:
East would bring her the sun,
And the dear west, her own Moon!
Beneath her lay a quiet Saketh,
A sea of people, waiting weary
To witness the beginning of a new era,
The birth of a new kingship,
The sway of a new, noble sceptre-
The long awaited reign of Ram….
Not a soul breathed,
Batted nor an eye-lid!
Only silence and hope,
The silent hope and hopeful silence reigned….
The long hours stretched,
Stretched harshly into an immeasurable length,
As though the world were still,
As though the gods above willed her
To grieve more, to bear more….
T'was agony,
Triple fold at its end…
Tears, her only friend for years now
Welled up from the bowels of her heart!
She closed her eyes,
Willing them repressed.
No, this was no moment to weep,
It was his return,
The end of this cruel penance!
With a prayer,
A resurgence of forbearance
Her eyes opened:
And caught in them,
The streak of light in the yonder East:
A gilded diadem
Embellishing the dark, dark space…
Then Dawn,
The glorious, kind old Dawn
Seeped through the dark entirety.
A morning was blanketed
Over a diminishing night…..
In awe, she stood,
Above the meditating Saketh,
Above the golden rim of the mounting Sun,
Above all joy, above all sorrow...
The moment,
The long-awaited moment of reunion
Was closing in….
Then, a sacred, sacred throb
On the high left temple told her:
He was home.
Five summers ago'
The accursed boon was granted,
And many a heart was broken!
Fourteen years they must live
Away from home; Fourteen years he must,
Away from me!
Oh, this is the blessed kingdom
Of the Sun, but its Sun has been shunned away
To the forests, and away, away went my Moon
With the Sun,
Whence he came.
Yes, away went Ram,
Renouncing a Sceptre, a Kingdom, a Title-
Not his Love!
But went my Lakshman,
Renouncing me,
To serve his lotus feet!
His parting words were these:
[They were a knell to my feminine ear,
But pride to the better self I possess-
The part that is Lakshman himself.]
'I go with Ram,
For he's par with my Sire- nay,
Greater, much, much greater.
He is my king,
My soul,
My god,
The object whence I came!!'
He stood in a hermit's habit,
But with the wrath of the prince he was,
That wrath unique to him, yet which was love itself-
The wrath at the injustice to Ram.
His livid eyes then sheathed,
Its anger extinguished by my tears!
Then I knew'.
The heart that enshrined Ram,
Held an altar for me too'.
Oh, and he left, he left with Ram,
His Sire,
His Soul,
His God,
The object whence he came''
*
Without a word, she let me go,
To discharge my blood's duty.
Oh, she forewent her love,
To let mine be proven,
Yet she proved her's- her love for me.
Oh her duties to me can wait
But, not mine to Ram:
At birth, he had his mothers,
And at every breath of his span,
He would, his Sita;
At home, to share him away
Were Bharath and Chatrugn,
And the denizens and citizens of Saketh!
With King Dasharatha to adore,
With Mandira to despise...
Oh, a whole life-time would have thus passed...
But, now it's Lakshman's turn,
With Lakshman alone
To shoulder his burden,
To bend to his kingly command,
To support, to guard, to serve...
This, the purpose, the object of my life,
And this Urmila would not know...
The sun has set,
Another aeon gone by!
She'd have wept her eyes to sleep-
Let her sleep,
Sleep, her only oblivion,
Sleep, I have renounced
To embellish my wakeful hours,
With sweeter memories...
*
There were times I envied Ram,
To be loved so dear by mine own Lakshman-
That's gone now'
No, but its Lakshman I envy,
His heart I envy,
To love for love's sake,
To relinquish his own everything for those he loves-
And tho' it's not an object worth measuring,
His gathers a momentous greatness,
A greatness surpassing
Nature and the worlds-
Why, his own Ram'..
*
Five summers am I older
To the day I last saw her,
But I feel no pain, no separation.
For she lives here in spirit,
An inherence in me'
Oh, and there's Ram- bless him-
The world begins and ends in him!
In his words, I hear her kindness,
My mother's in Sita's'.
Urmila, Love, Time's plough
Has dug an abyss,
Now filled with memories,
Our memories and your tears-
I'll be there soon,
To wipe them away.
But just now
Its light- fingered contempt
To stem the flow- for they are icons
Of love- pouring forth from
Your beautiful eyes!
True, Sita's felicity is for Ram,
But your tears are for me'
*
This castle echoes
My plaintive mood:
They are bereft of a king!
Oh, and my Queens!
Their state makes mine a trifle-
A paltry span of loss!!
They've lost their King forever,
And the wild has borrowed
Their heirs, away for fourteen summers!!
Bharath has renounced
His stately attire;
He reigns, in the name of Ram,
A pestilence-stricken people!
And Chatrugn,
The scion, has forgotten to smile;
And my sisters'.
Our own Ayodhya'.
Oh, there were happier times'.
Oh, Lakshman, brother Ram!
Charge your arrows
To speed the spheres-
Time, indeed, is lame-footed.
I can bear this no more'..
*
Yet, you must, Love,
You must bear it all- and
You will!
My shoulders are bruised,
This bow-string unkindly cuts into them;
Oh, this is no Ayodhya;
This way side rill that impeded my path
Is not my Sarayu;
Mother Nature is no Mother Sumitra!
And not one object here can ever replace
You to me, my Urmila!
These forest floors are not
Your soft lap to rest my head;
These winds bring me none
Of your warmth.
Yet for Ram,
I would weather the Underworld!
For me, Love, weather
Time's slow-footed lameness!
Honour me, Urmila,
With your patience!
Could not I have
Borne you across this perilous wild?
Do not mine arms
Possess that strength?
But I grant that your heart,
Your meekest, tenderest heart,
Were stronger than mine arms-even me!
[For I remember,
And will always do,
It won me, my pride and all]
I know it can bear
Undauntedly, a bereavement of a lifetime,
And fourteen summers?
Tell me, Love, am I not worth the wait??
"The hour of return is nigh…
It'd soon be dawn,
And all would dawn
For this empire, this people, and me!
This new sun I await.
He would bring me my moon…..
Fourteen summers has it been!
Fourteen summers- oh no, a lifetime has ended
In weary waiting and hapless tears!
But its end is here, so also a new beginning……..
Have I grown? Have I diminished?
I do not know. He will have to tell me,
For I merely groped, groped within time-
Within the dark, unkind labyrinthine walls of time….
But, now the dearest hour of return is nigh!
The thousand eyes of the night stare
In quiet pursuit
Of his, of their advancing toward the forlorn Saketh.
Yes, the Sun would see the journeys end-
My agony's end!
Yet, where is the Sun-
The lone eye of the day?
Sleep no more Sun!
Yoke thine steeds of the steep heaven
And tread the yon east! "
So spake Urmila,
Unto the night.
She stood, alone and concealed,
In the highest tower of the heaven-like castle.
Her beautiful eyes,
Those that he so adored,
Darted between the east and the west:
East would bring her the sun,
And the dear west, her own Moon!
Beneath her lay a quiet Saketh,
A sea of people, waiting weary
To witness the beginning of a new era,
The birth of a new kingship,
The sway of a new, noble sceptre-
The long awaited reign of Ram….
Not a soul breathed,
Batted nor an eye-lid!
Only silence and hope,
The silent hope and hopeful silence reigned….
The long hours stretched,
Stretched harshly into an immeasurable length,
As though the world were still,
As though the gods above willed her
To grieve more, to bear more….
T'was agony,
Triple fold at its end…
Tears, her only friend for years now
Welled up from the bowels of her heart!
She closed her eyes,
Willing them repressed.
No, this was no moment to weep,
It was his return,
The end of this cruel penance!
With a prayer,
A resurgence of forbearance
Her eyes opened:
And caught in them,
The streak of light in the yonder East:
A gilded diadem
Embellishing the dark, dark space…
Then Dawn,
The glorious, kind old Dawn
Seeped through the dark entirety.
A morning was blanketed
Over a diminishing night…..
In awe, she stood,
Above the meditating Saketh,
Above the golden rim of the mounting Sun,
Above all joy, above all sorrow...
The moment,
The long-awaited moment of reunion
Was closing in….
Then, a sacred, sacred throb
On the high left temple told her:
He was home.
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